A slight Rock and Roll love story

Looking back at how many times it feels like the universe was pushing us together just makes me smile, but I believe we got together at the right time.  We both needed to grow and realize what we want out of life.

We both came from the same city, but he went to study in another town so we didn't meet until later on in life.  He moved back to join his brothers band,  he left behind a girlfriend his friends and a job.  The first time we met was at a local club we were both in relationships so we didn't think into things.  We were both sitting at opposite ends of a table with our friends being miserable.  Looking back, we both noticed when we saw each other we were doing the exact same thing. Getting a drink and not socializing.  Its funny, because I remember telling my friend that I think hes really good looking and he told her the same thing.  We saw each other out a lot of times and we kept having these weird lingering looks, but we never spoke to each other.  After beating him at foosball (and he didn't even realize it was me) and he had a little bitch fit I just classified him as a hot asshole.

The band got signed to a record label and they moved away for bigger and better things. Now just so you guys know I'm not a groupie, I didn't even like the band, but I was friends with most of the members from the band.  Months flew away like a cloud and I didn't even think about him.  I started thinking about him the night before I went to a music festival.  I happened to see him on facebook at a ridiculous hour and wondered why he was awake. The morning of the music festival I decided to message the members of the band (except him) to ask how things were going and if they were having a good time ( I was just generally interested).  No response from anyone. I left for the festival and while I was there my friend and I spotted a guy that looked just like him.  It was odd.

When I got back I logged onto facebook again at a silly hour and saw he was online, I decided to message him, it was rather odd to me.  I'm a really intense funny person and I usually hide that, but when I messaged him I was my true self.  Not even 5 minutes later he replied and we didn't stop talking. We finally exchanged numbers and the talking just continued.  We realized we are basically the same person, we have most things in common.  A day into talking it got really, really dirty.  We both admitted that it was the first time we felt so comfortable with someone that we could be completely honest.

I've always had this fantasy about true love and finding your special person, I started losing hope and felt really silly.  He had the same thing his heart got broken for the first time when he was 6 and he kept listening to bonjovi.

After awhile I started feeling silly and told him I'm getting attached, he whipped out the "you can't be to attached, because I'm in love with you, f*ck it I love you".  We've both been intense people and gotten hurt by a lot of people so moving fast was just beautiful for us.  I made a plan to go visit him that weekend.

I decided to take the bus on the Friday, let me just say being hungover on a bus and having all that time to think is a hell of a freak out.  My entire trip i felt like I made a mistake, I'm going to get left at the bus station and after getting off the bus halfway to get coffee, the heavens decided to open up and drench me in rain when I tried to get pretty in the morning was just beautiful!

When I finally got to the bus station, my phone died.  Having no way to contact him I decided to find the nearest exit and go have a smoke.  I got harassed by a man for an hour and when I finally saw him running towards me I felt this instant connection. We had our first kiss and it was lovely.  We realized we are perfect for each other in the car, we didn't have any awkwardness and it just felt right.  After that he would come visit me when he didn't have shows and I would come see him whenever I could and most of the times it would be when he had a show that night, we would have to rush to make it for sound check.  This kept going for maybe a month.  Where my stays would get longer and eventually we realized I'm living with him.  That first day we met we both kept proposing to each other and our proposals just continue.  It was a weird feeling for both of us to feel so secure in a relationship, making plans not wanting to be apart.

While talking about all this we noticed that we were at the same camp when we were 16.  His first job he worked at one of my family functions, we went to the same concerts and he saw my boobs on screen.  We had a lot of opportunity to meet, but like I said from the start everything worked out perfectly for us, we needed time to grow, lose hope in love and just get wowed when it did happen.  My appreciation for him is endless and the love I see in his eyes when he looks at me melts my heart.

Well that's my story, never lose hope guys.  I'm not saying you need a man to be happy, be happy with yourself, this intense love is something I've always wanted and I'm grateful I found it.

Random photos:

festival times

backstage madness

watching my man

Have faith

Life is one of the most unpredictable things around.  We can't plan what's going to happen.  Yes, we can plan for the future and plan everything we want to do, but we still seem to take this short time we have to LIVE for granted.  I was with someone I knew wasn't the right person for me endured years of insane fights for what? When I think back on it now, it feels like I stuck it out just, because I didn't believe that things can be good or just okay.  We accept the love we think we deserve, was something that seemed that I believed.

To give you insight on my past and what made me such a cynic that was basically just waiting to die, I'm not writing this so anyone will feel bad for me, everything that's happened to me has made me the person today.  A happy person that's just trying her best to live and enjoy life. 

From the age of 7-12 I was first molested then raped by a close family friend, I was naive and was slightly brainwashed into believing that this was an acceptable part of life, but as I aged I realized that this was not right.  I went to my parents and told them what happened to me, my parents didn't deal with this in a normal way they accused me of lying, breaking my heart and forcing me to spiral into severe depression.  I had horrible insomnia,  migraines and felt horribly alone.  I tried blocking all these memories out, but like most things you can't run away from your problems.  When I was 16 all these memories kept popping back into my head.  I started feeling really alone and tainted.  I felt dead and a way of copying was to cut myself, I felt ashamed of myself I never cut myself for attention it was for a way to feel alive or just feel anything. I started dating my first boyfriend, I finally felt like somebody cared about me, but I knew he wasn't right for me, it was a verbally abusive relationship that made my heart break.  I would like to say that I found a higher power ( no offense to anyone), but I didn't I realized I'm the only one that can make myself happy relying on others to make you happy is no way to live.  You first have to accept yourself and I did.  I love the person I am today.  I'm a strong woman that's overcome all this.  Yes, I still get my sad days, but I just keep thinking it will get better and life has a funny way of surprising us, its beautiful not knowing whats going to happen it keeps everything interesting :).  My Grandmother always told me that when you find the right person for you. you will just know this is it.  I feel really bad for not believing her all these years, because when it happened I sure did feel like an idiot.

I hope I inspired at least one person not to lose hope ever.  Have faith.

Love Mel